The Right Fit

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. ~Jeremiah 29:11

Auditions were just held last weekend for the winter production of Willy Wonka. Mairwen is already involved in a production at school. Between that and taking two high school level classes, she sat out this round of Christian Youth Theater auditions. Hannah prepared a song and a monologue, and nailed them both on Thursday evening. Then the wait began.

CYT holds auditions over the course of Thursday and Friday evenings, and then callbacks happen on Saturday, and then late Sunday evening, the cast list is posted. Snow and ice shifted the timelines this time around.

Something else that was different this time around was that there is only one show running this winter (normally there are two that run in tandem; one in Stafford, and one in Fredericksburg. Facility conflicts have narrowed us down to one for a while). That meant that we knew going in that not everyone who auditioned would get in (based on how many kids were auditioning versus the maximum cast size as determined by logistics and safety).

Before the cast list is made public, the Artistic Director sends an email the parent of any child who is not cast. Due to the aforementioned weather, the cast list is expected at 9 p.m. this evening. So as Hannah and I waited for the bus this morning, I received a very sweet and encouraging email, addressed to Hannah, saying that she was not cast in Willy Wonka.

I shared this email with Hannah. After giving her a minute or two to process, I asked her how she was feeling. "Disappointed," she said without hesitation, and went back to writing in the snow with a stick :-). I asked her whether she realized that it wasn't because her audition wasn't good. Because it really WAS very good! ((Several years ago Hannah experienced a season of bullying, and afterwards went through a season of self doubt. I now take every opportunity I can to gauge the healing process and see how she's truly feeling about herself.))

 Her answer was simple yet fairly profound: "I know. It just means they didn't have the right part for me."

I agreed, and added, "plus, maybe God sees another opportunity coming for you that being in Willy Wonka would get in the way of." I may have also slipped in the possibility of a mid-winter trip to Great Wolf Lodge... But that's because *I* want to go! ;-)

In that moment, I was simply pleased to hear that she had a good perspective on the situation, and that being cut hadn't seemed to damage her self esteem. But now that the bus is gone and I've had a bit more time to think (and finish my coffee), I realize that there's more to it than I originally saw.

Her answer showed that she made a choice, even if she didn't know that she made it. She could just as easily have said, "I wasn't right for the part" and on the surface it might have seemed the same. But underneath, it would have meant that she was using the part as a basis of judgement for herself. That the part was right, and she was wrong. By saying it the other way around, she showed that she knows she has value, and that the part was the thing that was fitting wrong, not her.

It may sound like I'm splitting hairs here, but this is really a tremendous difference that we would all do well to think about. I'm not saying we should become raging egomaniacs, but...

• What if we stopped wondering whether every closed door was the result of a personal failure?
• What if we chose to truly believe that rejection often is protection?
• What if we focused on being ready for the better thing that God must have in store if he said "no" to the thing that seemed good?
• What if we realized that God's plans for each of us are beautifully unique to each of us, and not always anything like what we expected them to look like?
• What if we finally decided not to adjust our definition of ourselves because of a role we've received for a season (not speaking only of theater!), and began to define ourselves by the role what we'll have for all eternity?

So for everyone who gets a part, and everyone who doesn't, and for anyone who has ever had to deal with a closed door, I pray for you to be able to shift your perspective, and redefine what "fits." You were not made to make yourself into something else. You were made to be YOU!

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. ~Psalm 139:14